Your teenager suddenly tells you that they do not want to spend time with their other parent anymore. They give reasons ranging from feeling uncomfortable to claiming the other parent ignores them.
You have a court-ordered custody schedule that requires the visits to happen. This situation puts you in a tight spot between respecting your child’s feelings and following the law.
Why do children push back on visitation?
Children refuse visits for many different reasons and understanding the cause matters when courts get involved:
- Developmental stage: Teenagers naturally want more independence and time with friends, which can make custody schedules feel restrictive even when both parents provide good care.
- Legitimate safety concerns: Your child might face real problems like abuse, substance use or harmful living conditions at the other parent’s home that warrant their aversion.
- Parental alienation: One parent might try to turn the child against the other parent through bad mouthing, less contact or undermining the relationship.
- Schedule conflicts: School activities, jobs and social commitments become more important to older children and mandatory visitation might genuinely interfere with these priorities.
Virginia courts consider a child’s preferences more heavily as they get older. However, even teenagers cannot simply refuse court-ordered visitation without consequences.
What are your options?
You cannot unilaterally stop sending your child to court-ordered visits just because they refuse to go. Doing so can put you in contempt of court even if you sympathize with your child’s position. You can:
- Document your child’s concerns in writing and your attempts to encourage compliance with the order
- If safety issues exist, file for an emergency custody modification
- For less urgent situations, seek a custody modification based on changed circumstances
- Request the court appoint a guardian ad litem to investigate your child’s concerns
Courts can also order family counseling to address relationship problems between your child and the other parent. Legal guidance can help you manage this ordeal while protecting your child’s wellbeing and your legal rights under the custody order.