Barnes & Diehl, P.C.Barnes & Diehl, P.C.2026-06-08T06:56:53Zhttps://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/feed/atom/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/sites/1204365/2022/06/cropped-BD_FAV-32x32.pngOn Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[What happens when both spouses want the family pet?]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520732026-06-05T15:25:31Z2026-06-05T15:25:31Z you go through a divorce in Virginia, deciding who keeps the family pet can become one of the more emotional issues you face. Dogs, cats and other companion animals often feel like part of the family, so both spouses may feel a strong attachment. Even so, Virginia law generally treats pets as property, which can influence how you or the court handle these disputes.
Understanding how the process works may help you better see what options could be available as things move forward.
How does Virginia law classify family pets?
In Virginia, courts generally classify pets as personal property during divorce cases rather than family members. Under Virginia law, judges divide marital property in a way they consider fair based on the circumstances. This framework can include companion animals such as dogs, cats and other pets that both spouses may want to keep.Although you may see a pet as part of your daily family life, the law typically places animals in the same category as other marital assets. As a result, this classification can shape how you and your spouse discuss ownership and how a court may evaluate competing claims.
What happens when both spouses want the pet?
When both spouses want the family pet, you may first explore negotiation before any court involvement. Many people reach agreements outside of court because it can allow more flexibility and reduce conflict during an already stressful time.In some situations, you may see arrangements such as:
One spouse keeps the pet while the other receives different marital property in exchange
One spouse takes primary ownership while the other receives scheduled time with the pet
Both spouses share certain pet care costs, even if one person keeps the animal
These arrangements often depend on what feels practical for both sides and what supports the pet’s daily routine and well being.
How might courts decide pet ownership?
If you and your spouse cannot agree, a court may step in and decide who keeps the pet. Judges often focus on how the pet fits into the household rather than emotional attachment alone.In Virginia, courts may consider several practical factors, including:
Who handled daily care such as feeding, walking and veterinary visits
Who has more stable housing that can support the animal
Who paid most of the pet related expenses during the marriage
How the pet interacts with children or other household members
Because Virginia law treats pets as property, courts typically do not apply custody style rules used in child related matters. This distinction can shape the outcome, even when both spouses feel strongly about the animal.
Finding a workable path forward
Pet related disputes during divorce often come down to communication and planning between both spouses. While the law provides a structure for resolution, your own agreements and circumstances may still play a meaningful role in how you resolve the matter over time.]]>On Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[What if my child refuses to visit their other parent?]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520702026-05-18T09:45:36Z2026-05-21T09:44:50ZYour teenager suddenly tells you that they do not want to spend time with their other parent anymore. They give reasons ranging from feeling uncomfortable to claiming the other parent ignores them. You have a court-ordered custody schedule that requires the visits to happen. This situation puts you in a tight spot between respecting your child's feelings and following the law.
Why do children push back on visitation?
Children refuse visits for many different reasons and understanding the cause matters when courts get involved:
Developmental stage: Teenagers naturally want more independence and time with friends, which can make custody schedules feel restrictive even when both parents provide good care.
Legitimate safety concerns: Your child might face real problems like abuse, substance use or harmful living conditions at the other parent's home that warrant their aversion.
Parental alienation: One parent might try to turn the child against the other parent through bad mouthing, less contact or undermining the relationship.
Schedule conflicts: School activities, jobs and social commitments become more important to older children and mandatory visitation might genuinely interfere with these priorities.
Virginia courts consider a child's preferences more heavily as they get older. However, even teenagers cannot simply refuse court-ordered visitation without consequences.
What are your options?
You cannot unilaterally stop sending your child to court-ordered visits just because they refuse to go. Doing so can put you in contempt of court even if you sympathize with your child's position. You can:
Document your child's concerns in writing and your attempts to encourage compliance with the order
If safety issues exist, file for an emergency custody modification
For less urgent situations, seek a custody modification based on changed circumstances
Request the court appoint a guardian ad litem to investigate your child's concerns
Courts can also order family counseling to address relationship problems between your child and the other parent. Legal guidance can help you manage this ordeal while protecting your child's wellbeing and your legal rights under the custody order.
]]>On Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[Can a child choose custody in Virginia courts?]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520632026-04-15T13:54:25Z2026-04-20T13:53:26ZCustody decisions in Virginia often raise questions about whether a child can decide which parent they want to live with. You may hear stories about teenagers choosing one home over another, but court decisions do not rely on preference alone. Instead, judges look at the full picture of the child’s life before reaching any decision.
A child’s voice can matter, especially as they get older, yet it becomes one part of a broader review. Factors like school routines, home stability and each parent’s ability to provide care all carry weight. Because of this balance, the process can feel uncertain when emotions run high during separation or divorce.
What judges hear
Against that backdrop, Virginia courts may consider a child’s preference, but it does not control the outcome. Under Virginia Code § 20-124.3, judges first look at the child’s age and maturity before deciding how much weight to give their opinion. For example, a 15-year-old who clearly explains reasons for wanting to live with one parent may influence the court more than a younger child who bases the choice on short-term comfort or preference.From there, courts compare the child’s wishes with other important facts in the case, such as safety in each home and the level of involvement from each parent. In some cases, a guardian ad litem may step in to help the court better understand the child’s situation and needs.When these issues come together, legal guidance can help clarify how a child’s statements may be presented in court and how they fit within Virginia custody standards.
When it counts more
As the court weighs all these factors, a child’s input may carry more influence in certain situations than in others. The weight given to their preference often depends on the surrounding facts and how clearly the child expresses their reasons.A child’s preference may carry more weight when:
The child is older, especially in the teenage years.
The child shows maturity when explaining their reasons.
The child gives consistent reasons over time.
The child faces safety concerns in one household.
The child has stronger school or community stability in one home.
Even when these factors appear, they do not guarantee a result. Instead, they help the judge decide how much importance to place on the child’s view while still comparing all evidence in the case.
The bigger picture
Bringing all of this together, a child’s choice can matter in parental rights cases, but it never stands alone. Courts continue to focus on long-term stability and the overall best interests of the child. This means every detail of the family situation becomes part of the decision.]]>On Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[Terminating spousal support after remarriage or death in Virginia]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520402026-03-17T10:38:29Z2026-03-20T10:37:55ZSpousal support in Virginia exists to provide financial help when one spouse depends on the other after divorce. Life changes, however, can shift these obligations. Events such as remarriage or the death of a spouse may change who pays what and for how long. Knowing how support can end helps you plan ahead and avoid unexpected financial strain.
Remarriage can change the rules
One of the most common ways spousal support ends is when the receiving spouse remarries. Virginia courts typically see remarriage as a significant change in finances that may reduce or stop support. Under Va. Code § 20-109, support usually ends when the new marriage begins. However, the timing and proof matter.Some situations where support may end include:
Remarrying a partner who provides enough income to cover daily living expenses
Living with a new partner in a long-term arrangement that includes financial help
Receiving inheritances or gifts from a new spouse that reduce financial dependence
Documenting these changes can clarify your situation for the court. Seeking help from a family law attorney can make the process smoother and ensure your obligations or rights are accurately addressed.
Death ends support but can complicate matters
When a spouse dies, spousal support usually stops automatically. However, the situation can get tricky if the deceased spouse had life insurance, retirement accounts or estate plans meant to provide ongoing support.For example, a life insurance policy might name the receiving spouse as a beneficiary. Disagreements can happen over whether those funds count as continued support. Similarly, if the surviving spouse expects money from the estate, conflicts with heirs or the executor could make access difficult.Keeping clear records of support agreements, insurance policies and estate details can make these situations easier to understand and avoid confusion.
Facing changes with clarity
Court-ordered marital support can shift in ways that affect your daily life and long-term plans. Remarriage or the death of a spouse does not just change payments — it can reshape household finances, family dynamics and expectations for the future. Recognizing these impacts helps you approach life’s transitions with perspective and confidence.]]>On Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[Can parents move out of Virginia with their kids after a divorce?]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520352026-02-17T08:52:36Z2026-02-20T08:52:02ZWhose permission is necessary when a parent relocates?
Parents who are subject to custody orders may need pre-approval from their co-parents before they move. Current state statutes require that parents provide advance notice at least 30 days before a potential move. They must give the other parent in the family an opportunity to respond.
If the other parent agrees that the move is beneficial, the two can negotiate arrangements to continue to share custody. If the other parent does not support the relocation, then a hearing in family court may be necessary to resolve the disagreement.
A judge can review the situation to determine if the move is likely to be beneficial for the children and what, if any, custody modifications are necessary to facilitate the relocation. Judges can decline to permit moves that they feel may not serve the children's best interests.
A parent proposing a relocation must secure permission from the family court or their co-parent. Those who develop their legal case carefully have the best chances of securing consent for a relocation and a custody modification updating the terms of a shared custody order.
Discussing a potential upcoming move with a family law attorney can help parents navigate the challenges of a shared custody relocation. Permission from a co-parent or the courts is typically necessary, especially if a move takes the children out of state or significantly increases the travel time between the parents' homes.]]>On Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[Is the ‘gray divorce’ trend finally ending?]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520342026-01-27T21:46:30Z2026-01-27T21:46:30Zfinally leveling off, the complexities of “untying the knot” for decades-long unions remain significant.
What caused the surge in the first place?
Several cultural factors drove the trend. The baby boomer generation experienced higher divorce rates in their youth, and statistics show that individuals in second or third marriages face a higher likelihood of dissolution. Several factors contributed to the rise:
Decreased social stigma surrounding the end of a long-term marriage
Increased financial independence among women giving them more autonomy
Longer life expectancies prompting spouses to seek fulfillment in their later years
These shifts changed how society views marital longevity. Many couples now prioritize individual well-being over staying in a bad marriage.
Analyzing the recent plateau in gray divorces
While the divorce rate for those aged 50 to 64 has stabilized since 2010, it has actually tripled for those 65 and older since 1990. As more people reach their 60s and 70s, the number of families affected by later-life dissolution is expected to grow by another one-third by 2030, driven by the aging population.
Economic realities also play a major role. Splitting a household in retirement requires a careful look at several factors:
Property division: In Virginia, courts use "equitable distribution" to divide marital property fairly, though not always 50/50.
Retirement assets: Dividing complex pensions or 401(k)s often requires specialized court orders called QDROs.
Cost of living: Maintaining two separate residences on a fixed income can be a significant financial hurdle.
Separation requirements: Virginia requires a one-year separation period, though this may be reduced to six months if you have no minor children and a signed settlement agreement.
Careful planning is essential for anyone going through these changes. Your individual financial roadmap must be precise to ensure a comfortable future.
The importance of skilled legal guidance
Whether the rate is steadily climbing or leveling off, gray divorce remains a reality for many Virginia families. It is important to note that while state courts divide marital property, federal law governs Social Security benefits. You may be eligible for benefits based on your ex-spouse's earnings if you were married for at least 10 years and remain unmarried.
Managing these legal and financial intricacies requires a detail-oriented approach. Working with an experienced divorce attorney helps ensure you not only protect your separate property (assets owned before marriage or received via third-party gift/inheritance) but also secure the hard-earned marital assets that rightfully belong to you.]]>On Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[Are any debts excluded from property division in a divorce?]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520312026-01-16T10:31:36Z2026-01-21T10:30:57ZThe property division process during divorce addresses both assets and debts. Spouses must provide one another with thorough disclosures in court regarding their obligations and holdings. They then either work together to settle their disagreements or prepare to litigate.
Virginia has an equitable distribution statute in place. The law requires a fair and appropriate division of both property and debts. The financial obligations of the divorcing spouses can easily become a point of contention during divorce. One spouse may have spent far more than the other or may even have hidden their financial conduct. Is it possible to exclude certain debts from the pool of marital property and obligations during a divorce?
Misconduct can influence debt distribution
Generally speaking, debts owed prior to the marriage, such as the student loans of one spouse, remain the separate financial obligation of the spouse who brought the debt into the marital relationship. Most debts accrued during the marriage are subject to division if the spouses divorce, but not all debts are automatically part of the marital estate. Occasionally, spouses may be able to exclude certain debts from the pool of marital financial obligations. In cases involving the dissipation of marital assets, debts taken on with the malicious intent of diminishing the marital estate may not be subject to division. If one spouse suddenly accrued thousands of dollars in frivolous credit card debt in the weeks before they filed for divorce, the courts may agree that the spouse who incurred those debts is solely responsible for repaying them. The courts may employ a similar approach to debts related to adultery. If one spouse used a credit card to buy gifts, pay for hotel rooms or fund travel with an affair partner, evidence of that financial misconduct could convince the courts to set aside those debts when assigning responsibility for joint financial accounts. Occasionally, scenarios involving long-term financial infidelity where one spouse opened hidden lines of credit and never revealed their debts to the other may also warrant a review by the courts. Those concerned about taking responsibility for a spouse’s debts may want to discuss their finances with a family law attorney. Learning more about the rules that apply during complex property division proceedings can help spouses protect themselves.]]>On Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[Can leaving home during a divorce impact property division?]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520152025-12-18T11:47:19Z2025-12-23T11:46:41ZThe marital home is often a marital asset
Married couples who own homes usually acquire the house together during the marriage. Therefore, the house is marital property, and the title is in the name of both spouses. Even in cases where one spouse may have owned the house prior to marriage or inherited the home, investments in the home during the marriage may give each spouse a partial interest in the equity accrued in the property.
Choosing to leave the home to minimize conflict does not eliminate a spouse's interest in the property under equitable distribution rules. So long as they continue to uphold their financial responsibilities and continue to actively participate in the divorce process, they are unlikely to face claims of abandoning the relationship for the marital home.
Spouses who leave can request compensation for accumulated equity. They could also ask to retain certain assets or ask their spouses to take responsibility for more marital debts. In some cases, the spouse who leaves during the divorce can actually regain possession of the home after the end of the divorce negotiations. Every marital situation is unique, and therefore every divorce has different factors that influence the outcome of property division proceedings.
Consulting with a family law attorney can help people understand their rights and strategize for the best possible property division outcome. Spouses who choose to leave their homes during divorce can often still claim an interest in accumulated equity in most cases.]]>On Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[Divorce complete? Key estate plan changes to consider now]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520142025-12-01T22:12:31Z2025-12-01T22:12:31ZDivorce changes more than your marital status. It affects your new life and all legalities involved. This includes your wills, trusts, powers of attorney and beneficiary designations. Virginia law allows divorced spouses to lose certain rights automatically, but some assets require you to manually change beneficiary designation. If you do not proactively review your estate plan, you may leave properties or investments to an ex-spouse and fail to protect your intended heirs.
Post-divorce estate planning checklist
After a divorce, a careful review ensures your estate plan aligns with your new circumstances. Focus on documents that grant authority or distribute assets. Check these areas to make sure your plan matches your intentions:
Wills or trusts naming a former spouse as beneficiary
Retirement accounts, life insurance policies or payable-on-death (POD) accounts
Powers of attorney, healthcare proxies or guardianship appointments
Any joint property agreements or transfers made during marriage
Digital assets, including online accounts, subscriptions and cryptocurrency
Updating these items guarantees that your estate plan reflects your current priorities. Once you make the changes, you can rest assured knowing that the people you wish to care for will be after you are gone.
What happens if you forget?
Failing to update your estate plan after divorce can create confusion and disputes. Assets may pass to your ex-spouse, who may ignore your wishes for your children or other dependents resulting in stressful legal battles. Delays or court cases could drain resources and complicate an already emotional time. You need to be intentional about your actions by making sure your estate plan is current and updated.
Additional considerations for your estate plan
Beyond basic updates, consider new beneficiaries, charitable gifts or special provisions for children or dependents. Work with a trusted estate planning attorney to ensure legal documents follow Virginia law including the Code of Virginia S 64.2-412, which extinguishes all bequests and fiduciary appointments made to a former spouse in a Will or Revocable Trust upon completion of divorce.Be proactive in reviewing and revising your estate plan, so it matches your goals and reduces confusion later. A lawyer can help explain technical details, guide you through changes and help coordinate with financial advisors so you can achieve peace of mind regarding everything you worked hard for.]]>On Behalf of Barnes & Diehl, P.C.<![CDATA[Choosing to parallel parent is not failing your child ]]>https://www.barnesfamilylaw.com/?p=520112025-11-24T14:03:04Z2025-11-27T13:55:25ZParallel parenting is a structured form of co-parenting designed for situations wherein communication and cooperation between parents are especially difficult. It is often the best option for families emerging from high-conflict divorces or separations, as well as families colored by a history of domestic abuse.
While this arrangement may not look like traditional co-parenting, choosing to parallel parent is not a sign of failure—it is often a practical, protective decision that prioritizes a child’s stability and emotional well-being over the reality of ongoing parental disputes, tension and certain safety issues.
Co-parenting just isn’t the best option for every situation
In parallel parenting, each parent maintains (relatively) full responsibility and decision-making authority when their child is in their care. This approach minimizes direct interaction and eliminates the risk of certain kinds of conflict. Parents who are moving forward with a parallel agreement typically communicate only through written methods, such as text or email, and only about essential topics like schedules, medical needs and education. The focus of this approach is usually maintaining a consistent and low-stress environment for a child and, in some situations, protecting the well-being of one or both parents. Many parents worry that a parallel parenting plan means they are letting their child down by not working towards a close, cooperative relationship with the other parent. In reality, it can be a healthy and effective solution for families when traditional co-parenting is not advisable. Children benefit most from peace and predictability—not from seeing their parents fight, and not from seeing one or both of them miserable a significant amount of the time. By reducing conflict, parallel parenting can help to shield children from emotional harm and can help to facilitate secure relationships with both parents.This approach also gives parents space to heal and regain control over their own lives. Over time, as emotions settle and trust slowly rebuilds, some families are able to transition from parallel parenting to more cooperative co-parenting. But even if that never happens, a well-structured parallel parenting plan can help to ensure that a child continues to receive love, guidance and support from both parents.
]]>